My Mea Culpa and an 80s Playlist Offering

I promise to be a better blogger.  I really do–especially now that I am running again and all healed up from my stress fractures and my entirely mental defeatist running stagnation of late 2014.  I hope you’ll forgive me…especially you fellow bloggers whom I’ve neglected to read over the past two months.  It’s hard to read about running when you aren’t doing it yourself.  If you were celibate, would you want to read about sex?

Some quick life updates and then I will talk about running and humbly submit a great 80s playlist as a peace offering to my readers….

Christmas came and went, along with bouts of typhoid/flu/virus hell for most of our family.  I spent about three weeks coughing like a two-pack-a-day smoker but credit running and strong lungs for seeing me through without an antibiotic.  Take that, respiratory bug!

I have joined the committee for a 4-mile run here in KC called the Trolley Run, and I am thrilled to be part of such a great group and helping with a race for the first time!  This run is in its 27th year and benefits the Children’s Center for the Visually Impaired (CCVI), an AMAZING school that provides services for blind and visually impaired children from infancy through kindergarten.  I believe it is the largest 4-mile run in the country, with over 8,000 runners participating each year.  If you are a local reader or someone looking to visit KC, come run it with me!  We on the committee have been working hard to make sure that this year’s race will be incredible…it’s a flat to downhill course with a fantastic after bash.  What’s not to love, right?  I’ve written a few blog posts for the run (which you can read here and here if you’re interested!),

I am close to opening a cross stitch shop on Etsy and will put info in a sidebar once I have it up and running.  Old lady crafting is a current passion, and I will be able to take custom orders too.  To be fair, I will mostly be offering snarky patterns and song lyrics, so please don’t contact me hoping for an elaborate stitched pattern of a playful kitten and a yarn ball.  Contact me if you want some Kendrick Lamar lyrics stitched up nice and crafty-like.

I turned 42.  Let’s skim over that one.  I tried to look happy about it…and honestly it’s not that bad.  I would rather be the me I am at 42 than the half-formed idiot I was at 22, and I’m knock-on-wood healthy and happy, so complaining about it seems like a waste of time, and wasting time is for suckers.

HH and I played some winter golf this weekend…and wondered why we haven’t moved to Florida yet.

This little beast has decided that it’s fun to snack on poop in the back yard…a real homemade all-you-can-eat buffet!  So much for having a fellow princess in the house…

The other dog continues to volunteer with me each week at a local rehabilitation center.  He is clearly the house favorite.

My love for running has returned after a few months off.  I am definitely slower (like running through Jello slow!), but much happier.  I am trying to take it easy to allow my body and especially my weak feet a chance to rest, build back up, and accommodate the extra pounds I’ve put on from not exercising for several months.  I am scheduled to run the Trolley Run in April, which will be my first race (I think) since last 4th of July’s Ward Parkway Four on the Fourth, where I patriotically kicked some ‘Murican ass and barely snagged an AG medal (all the really fast people must have been out buying fireworks that morning.)

And now, I present on one apologetic runner’s knee, a list of some great 80s songs to kick up your run, including some standards and a few new ideas.  I don’t know if my running playlists ever generate any interest, though my blog stats say otherwise, so if you like them, leave a comment, tweet me a pic, or send a shoutout to @TwistedSwisster (bonus respect to anyone who runs in pegged pants or one-shouldered sweatshirts!)

Part One:  Betcha no one runs to Midnight Blue, but you can’t go wrong with that song.  He ain’t got no regrets, and he ain’t losing track, and neither should you.  Your following days are over, baby, now you just gotta follow through!

Part Two:  A bunch of somewhat obvious yet totally bitchin’ running staples, and they’re solid gold just like the dancers.

As always, thanks for reading and HAPPY RUNNING!  You’re simply the best!

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My Holiday Gift Guide for Runners and Wackos Like Me

Is is too early to post a gift guide?  I hope not, because I can’t really post anything running-related.  My peroneal tendon has been throbbing like a mother all weekend (like looking at a smoke detector light, only instead of waiting for the blink every few seconds, it’s been like waiting for the throb/shot of pain to shoot from just inside my ankle bone.)

I have an appointment with my podiatrist on Thursday.  I really can’t take much more time off from running.  I am dying inside, and meanwhile, I am growing outside, putting on my winter layer of chub.  Boo.

So, today I bring you my first annual Holiday Gift Guide, with plenty of items for runners and a few odds and ends for the non-runners in your life!  Be warned:  like Sir Mix-a-Lot, this list is long, strong, and down to get the gift buying on!

(That was so lame.)

I sort of had a holiday gift post last year where I discussed my Xmas list items, including Tifosi sunglasses (love them!), Zensah compression  leg sleeves (love them too!) and the Handana (a fail for me…just couldn’t get used to it and felt like Michael Jackson wearing it…He-he!)  I’m ramping it up this year, though, and giving it the official “Gift Guide” title, so it feels like a first, and as the wise and much-loved-by-me Sade says…

it’s never as good as the first time.

Gifts for (Mostly Lady) Runners

Here are some fun items that you can buy for your favorite runner or put the word out for if you pound the pavement…

Lululemon Light as Air Hipster:  I have raved about these before.

If you are going to be out there in the elements, don’t you deserve a brush of silk against your delicate regions?  Your totally tight ass and rock-hard glutes will thank you once they feel the caress of this fabric and realize that you actually spent (or got someone else to spend) $18 on a pair of underwear that doesn’t show panty lines.  True fact:  I wear these sometimes when I am couchathoning, and I think I’m worth it.  Also true fact: they are extremely fragile, so wash them in cold with other Lulu or polyester fabrics and air dry.  Some reviewers have said on the Lulu web pages that theirs didn’t last, but mine have and I believe Lulu would make it right if they fell apart (but maybe keep your receipt?).

Tested tip:  Buy a size up?  Some reviewers said they didn’t cover their butts enough.  I wear a M.  Also comes in a thong, Sisqo style.

Oiselle Lux Armwarmers:  I want a pair of these bad boys.

They look so cozy and, well, lux.  Any fabric described as “buttery soft” has me at hello.   The heather flame pink color is speaking to me, and I think it wants to replace my old Nike arm sleeves in boring black.  My pink arms will totally look like ladylike flames as I whir down the streets at a solid 9:30.

Oiselle Cable Knit Armwamers:  Yes, I realize I’m repeating, but these look hella comfortable too.  Plus, I like the way she is staring at her own hand like a pubescent teenage boy who just left his first long shower (omg, did I just type that?  Sorry not sorry!)

 

Maybe it’s because it’s frigid outside with a wind chill of 7 right now, but I think I could wear these all winter.  They would be great for a Netflix binge in a chilly basement if I can’t get back to running soon.  They could keep my arms nice and toasty while I reach for more popcorn.

Athleta Fast Track Half Zip:  I love Athleta, but I never wear their pants.  They always ride down searching for a place of less resistance somewhere below my saddlebags.  Their casual clothing is the bomb, though (just scored my some of their Metro leggings in gray with their Merino wool Soma sweater and it will be totally worth the high price since I plan on wearing the outfit every damn day ’til it drives the kids to school on its own.)

I also dig their jackets and tops, and I am coveting this half zip.  The website describes it as a great base layer, but I don’t normally like half-zips as base layers.  I don’t like to feel a zipper pushed against my skin, so if I’m layering I will usually put something compression or just zipperless as my base with a half-zip over it.

I like the ruching on this jacket…makes me think it would hold down in place and keep drafts out.  Several reviewers just wore it for the NYC marathon (let me pause to dry my tears) and said it was great with the wind.

Speaking of Athleta, they are offering this cute little Strobe Light for $10 online and in stores.  It’s made by Nathan, so you could probably find it in your local running store too (or something similar.)

Wish I could buy a hundred and spell “Watch the f*%k out!” on my chest.

Brooks Nightlife Essential Running Jacket III: I have no idea if this is a good jacket or not.  I include it simply because the picture is irresistible…

 She loves the nightlife

She’s got to boogie on the disco round

Yeah

Please don’t talk about love tonight.

iTunes Gift a Song: Did you know that you can give someone an actual song from iTunes?  This applies to my high school sensibilities…I used to love making mix tapes, and I blab all the time about my running playlists!

When you are on iTunes, just click to the right of a song under the purchase price (the down arrow,) and it offers the option to gift the song.  You can send it to the person’s email on the day of purchase or a day of your choice, and you can even customize the appearance of the “card.”

I just sent myself a song to test it and make sure it works.  It’s perfect!  You could send someone a great Christmas song or some kickass running songs as gifts.  Want to know what I just bought myself?

Dim All the Lights by Donna Summer…yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oiselle Big O Yeti: This is my favorite.  Did I ever tell you about the time last year that my sister and I were goofing around in Forever 21 and found some full-body cow snuggies?  We went into the fitting room to try them on (and yes, we bought them) and were howling with laughter.  Hello comfort, goodbye self-esteem!  What made the whole scene funnier was that a few months later my hair stylist asked me if I had been in Forever 21 once laughing in the dressing room…she had been in there and heard me laughing and thought it sounded like me.  How embarrassing…and now I’ve shared it with the internet.

Anyhoo, this full-size Yeti French fleece snuggie is just what you or your loved one need after a long run in frigid temperatures!

Yes, it’s a little pricey at $98, but did you just come in from your run looking like this?

 source

You need a Yeti in your life.  Or maybe a hairy Yeti man to cuddle with.  Whatever’s cheaper.

Vintage Stamped Spoon: This is a perfect stocking stuffer.

It’s just $16 from the Etsy site hyperlinked above.  She offers a few variations too…check her out.

Unusual Gifts for the Crazy People in Your Life (i.e, those who don’t run)

Here are a few items that you aren’t going to find at your local department store…

Celebrity Prayer Candles from Illumidol: I saw this Etsy site in a Buzzfeed article and just had to check it out.  My order of Christmas gifts for my son, nephew and sister came today, and I am pleased with the quality.  My 14-year old nephew and major baller is getting a Kevin Durant candle, and I’m not telling which one I got for my sister because she reads this blog.

Here is my son’s candle (don’t hate me, Catholics!)–Notorious B.I.G.–

I love it when you pray to me, Big Poppa

(I hope I’m not going to hell for that, but then again if I am it’s probably for other things that are way up on the list of sins before that statement!)

In fact, I would probably be headed to hell for buying this little number–

Atheist Stocking from Archie McPhee: I bought this to give at our family’s 2nd Annual Christmas Eve White Elephant gift exchange this year, but I told my sister about it last week and she mumbled something about it not being cool and not wanting her kids to see it.  I thought it was a funny joke, but she says it won’t be a hit gift, which of course is totally unacceptable.  Never fear, though, as I have an atheist friend with a Christmas birthday who shall be excited to unwrap this beauty!

Personalized Dog Stocking: If I wasn’t wasting my money on celebrity prayer candles and atheist stockings, I would be wasting it on these adorable dog stockings.  This Etsy shop offers a ton of different bow colors…I include this pic because I would like to have a dog named Manchego (such a delightful cheese!)

Bottle Koozy:  I really like everything on this gal’s Etsy site.  I have one of her coffee mug cozies that says “Wrong week to quit drinking.”  She offers a ton of mugs, mug cozies and bottle koozys…some clean, some nasty (she’s my kind of gal.)

EOS Lip Balm Ball from Target:  I think I am late to this party, but I just bought one of these (in Summer Fruit) and am a total fangirl.  Big ball balm?  This couldn’t be more fun to apply!  I bought my boys each one in different colors so we all have our own balm ball (that’s just fun to say, but I won’t take it any further.)

Jane Austen action figure:  This last one is a personal fave; in fact, I’ve already bought it for myself, and I know one of my favorite bloggers would want one for her personal collection!

Do I take her out of the box or do I keep her in pristine condition like my mom does her Native American Barbies (I’m serious, my mom really does that and I tease her endlessly.)

I think I have to take her out…complete with her special P&P book.  I can speak Jane all day, mostly as Elizabeth Bennet…

He is a gentleman; I am a gentleman’s daughter; so far we are equal

Till this moment I never knew myself

My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me

and (I wish)…

Go to hell, Lydia, and grow a pair, Jane!

What’s on your Christmas list?  Any good gift ideas you’d like to share?  What song would you gift?

 

 

 

Inspiration and Christmas Gift Ideas for Runners

I love uplifting running blogs.  I adore reading the positive messages and words of inspiration from other runners.

Unfortunately, I’m just not usually that way.  I should try harder to put out a positive vibe–really, I should.  But honestly, it’s about whatever works to get you motivated, and right now, I’m motivated to head out and do some speedwork in an hour or so because I just wolfed down an approximately 1,000 calorie Chick-fil-A Spicy Chicken Sandwich meal deal at 10:45 in the morning.

I did get the unsweetened tea, so I give myself a small golf clap for showing restraint and not getting the sweetened stuff.

I’ve been getting in frequent runs, including almost 7 easy miles on Sunday at a 9:20 pace and an easy 3-miler on the treadmill Monday afternoon (my 14-year old likes our club gym now, so I’ve taken him a few times and resigned myself to the drudgery of the dreadmill.)

The bad thing about the gym is that I start watching other people and comparing myself to them.  Imagine my pissiness on Monday when an older man strutted in right as I did, didn’t stretch or warm up or anything, just stepped on a treadmill and started running at a 7.6. I swear he was smirking as he did it.  I tried to tell myself that he was running intervals or trying to jump start his workout  or something–but NO, that bitch kept it up for 30 minutes (I use “bitch” a lot, and it can refer to any female or male that I hate/am jealous of/have a healthy respect for.)  I was a few people down running my pathetic 6.5 with a 1% incline (9:09 pace) and feeling lousy about myself.

Of course I obsessively looked up treadmill pace conversions when I got home and saw that he’d been running an 8:14 mile.  Not as incredible as it seemed, but I was still surprised that he started right up at that speed.  I would pull a hammy instantly and then fall flat on my face before flying off the back.  Mama likes her warmup!

It was inspiring, though…I’ll give him that.

Aside from running, I’ve been tackling Christmas like it’s December 15th already.  I’ve scored some great gifts, including an “I Love to Fart” coffee mug for my youngest.  I’ve done major amounts of shopping, my gift wrap station is up and running, and I’ve cajoled (read: steamrolled) my family into a new tradition:  a White Elephant gift exchange.  Everyone has to bring either a handmade gift or a White Elephant gift suitable for all ages.  The men are grouchy, but I don’t care.

I sent my sister this awesome Christmas card that I found at Urban Outfitters…

Gift wrapping in the basement is giving my plenty of opportunity to watch my übertolerant son play his Xbox with two obnoxious companions…

I’ve also compiled a wish list for my family in case they need ideas, which includes a few running-related items.  I would love another pair of Zensah compression sleeves, a Handana hand/wristband for wiping away sweat and snot (I saw this on someone’s running blog, and now I can’t remember whose blog it was or I would give them credit!), gift certificates toward a Garmin 220, and a pair of Tifosi sunglasses.  I’d ask for a sub 1:50 half marathon, but I don’t think even Santa can deliver that.

Do you have any great Christmas gift ideas?  Any ideas for a handmade gift that I can dazzle my family with?  Do you get inspired from bad eating decisions?