The Going Ups and the Coming Downs

Anybody know that song by Gladys Knight and the Pips?  It’s one of my favorites.  

Here in MaybeMarathoner world, the temps are rising, the base miles are building, and the speed is slowing in inverse proportion to the humidity (and not that anyone cares, but my hair is looking like total frizzy shit.)

Ooh, just when my hopes run high
And I think I’ve got it made
Hey, hey, along comes a rainy day
To rain on my parade, hey, hey, hey

There have been some good times, like last night when we went to a friend’s house for dinner and played a short game of Cards Against Humanity.  I am proud to call myself the winner.  It isn’t hard to win when you get genius cards, like when the black card was a Pick Two (where you use two cards from your hand) and the prompt was something along the lines of, “(Blank) leads to (Blank).”

I was fortunate enough to have “an erection lasting longer than four hours” AND “lockjaw” in my hand.

#WINNING!

They contemplated awarding me an extra point just for being so damn good.

There have been some bad times, too, and I’m not going to go all Tears of a Clown on you, because everything’s fine, but I’ve had a few good stress-relieving runs this week that I’ve sorely needed.  One was a tempo workout on the treadmill, which was actually hellish.  Why is a certain pace so easy to maintain on the road but then so torturously fast on the treadmill?  I hate you, conveyor belt from hell, and I am on the fence about whether tempo runs and I really do go together.

One minute you’re warm and lovin’
The next your hearts grown cold
The way you keep me guessin’
Is killin’ my soul

The kids are out of school, summer is here, and I leave you with one pic, shared by that last half marathon I ran a few weeks ago.  This popped up on Facebook, and I laughed my ass off.  This pic was apparently taken at Aid Station 4, and I stick out like a sore thumb for several reasons.

Image

Bitch that I am, my first thought seeing this pic was anger that that many people were still close to me and trying to steal my rightful place in line (yes, I think that way.  Don’t you?)  Screw you, people–you can’t have it!

Second, the bright pink tank and my placement in the photo, I feel, make me stand out.  I look at my a-cups in this photo and cackle.  My sister has already asked me to pick up one of that kind of bra for her and said that it looks like I’ve had a boob job.  I have not.  If you are interested, I am wearing the medium support Lululemon yoga bra, and yes it had slight removable cups in it to prevent bullet nips, but DAMN!

Third, and best of all, THE. LOOK. ON. MY. FACE.  I should hold a Caption Me contest.  The munchkin gal next to me looks so happy to be running and receiving water, and I look like I always do in race pics.  Confused, mentally challenged, like I thought I was running a 5k and wandered into an ultra marathon…WTF?

Did I smell cow manure?  Was I already trying to scope out a finish line?  Looking for hills up ahead?  Picking a suffering runner to chase down?  One of these days, as the good Lahd is my witness, I will take a good race pic (which of course I would trade in a heartbeat for a sub 1:50 half marathon, as I do have my priorities in line.)

Do you have a good caption for this photo?  Is the heat and humidity taking a toll on your speed?  Do share!  Happy running!

 

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17 thoughts on “The Going Ups and the Coming Downs

  1. It looks to me like the lady next to you is grimacing in pain and you’re just setting your determined sights on the finish line! (It’s not a bad photo, I think you look badass.)

    The heat and humidity take a huge toll on my miles and speed (and hair!). I hate running in the heat. Hatehatehate.

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  2. Cards Against Humanity is by far one of the best games out there. You totally won that one!!

    Good luck with the ups and downs – you can do it! And just know that I’m right there with you when it comes to the frizz 🙂 My head’s too round for headbands to stay in place long, and the curls just take over this time of year!

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  3. Wow, you are ahead of a lot of people in this picture. I would caption it, “Finish line or bust!” (okay after reading it again, you might could get rid of the “bust” part). You look like you just got water and are still just thinking of what’s ahead. I’m still trying to figure out from your blog if you have a good self image or not. 🙂

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  4. I hope the 4 hour erection didn’t make your hand cramp up. I think the lady next to you looks like she’s a witch casting a laser beam spell on you with her eyes – and probably because you are so nonchalantly grabbing your water from the volunteers while looking straight ahead without acknowledging them. And you even have a look of disgust on your face because they are so beneath you. For shame!

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  5. It looks like you were photoshopped into the photo. I know you are in the front but your head is at least twice the size of everyone else’s head. 🙂
    “Bullet nips” = yes! Us girls needed a phrase for them. Brilliant!

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    • So right! I have a large head, and since I’m up front, I thought the same thing…I look like I don’t fit. Thank goodness I didn’t have bullet nips in the photo, because they probably would have looked ginormous too! Makes me laugh! 🙂

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