Anybody know that song by Gladys Knight and the Pips? It’s one of my favorites.
Here in MaybeMarathoner world, the temps are rising, the base miles are building, and the speed is slowing in inverse proportion to the humidity (and not that anyone cares, but my hair is looking like total frizzy shit.)
Ooh, just when my hopes run high
And I think I’ve got it made
Hey, hey, along comes a rainy day
To rain on my parade, hey, hey, hey
There have been some good times, like last night when we went to a friend’s house for dinner and played a short game of Cards Against Humanity. I am proud to call myself the winner. It isn’t hard to win when you get genius cards, like when the black card was a Pick Two (where you use two cards from your hand) and the prompt was something along the lines of, “(Blank) leads to (Blank).”
I was fortunate enough to have “an erection lasting longer than four hours” AND “lockjaw” in my hand.
They contemplated awarding me an extra point just for being so damn good.
There have been some bad times, too, and I’m not going to go all Tears of a Clown on you, because everything’s fine, but I’ve had a few good stress-relieving runs this week that I’ve sorely needed. One was a tempo workout on the treadmill, which was actually hellish. Why is a certain pace so easy to maintain on the road but then so torturously fast on the treadmill? I hate you, conveyor belt from hell, and I am on the fence about whether tempo runs and I really do go together.
One minute you’re warm and lovin’
The next your hearts grown cold
The way you keep me guessin’
Is killin’ my soul
The kids are out of school, summer is here, and I leave you with one pic, shared by that last half marathon I ran a few weeks ago. This popped up on Facebook, and I laughed my ass off. This pic was apparently taken at Aid Station 4, and I stick out like a sore thumb for several reasons.
Bitch that I am, my first thought seeing this pic was anger that that many people were still close to me and trying to steal my rightful place in line (yes, I think that way. Don’t you?) Screw you, people–you can’t have it!
Second, the bright pink tank and my placement in the photo, I feel, make me stand out. I look at my a-cups in this photo and cackle. My sister has already asked me to pick up one of that kind of bra for her and said that it looks like I’ve had a boob job. I have not. If you are interested, I am wearing the medium support Lululemon yoga bra, and yes it had slight removable cups in it to prevent bullet nips, but DAMN!
Third, and best of all, THE. LOOK. ON. MY. FACE. I should hold a Caption Me contest. The munchkin gal next to me looks so happy to be running and receiving water, and I look like I always do in race pics. Confused, mentally challenged, like I thought I was running a 5k and wandered into an ultra marathon…WTF?
Did I smell cow manure? Was I already trying to scope out a finish line? Looking for hills up ahead? Picking a suffering runner to chase down? One of these days, as the good Lahd is my witness, I will take a good race pic (which of course I would trade in a heartbeat for a sub 1:50 half marathon, as I do have my priorities in line.)
Do you have a good caption for this photo? Is the heat and humidity taking a toll on your speed? Do share! Happy running!