Prediction? Pain.

It’s here.  On me like white on rice.  Like stink on a skunk.  Coming tomorrow morning at 7, whether I’m ready or not.

I’m not.

I ran 2.5 miles on Wednesday, and it was good and bad.  I shot out too fast at around a 9:30 pace, but it just felt so amazing to be out!  I can feel major improvement in my leg, so I blew imaginary kisses to Barb, my masseuse extraordinaire.  I tilted my chin up toward the sun (hiding behind a massively nasty rainy day) and thanked God for allowing me to get back out.  I prayed for the people in Boston and that 8-year old boy who just wanted to see his dad cross that finish line.  I soaked it up.

Still, things are not quite right with my leg and knee, and I was a little rusty.  Plus, my hamstring hurts now.  It’s like my entire left leg is a joke.  So I am scared.  I’m right to be scared…it’s my first marathon tomorrow!  But I’m petrified.  I am truly concerned that it won’t hold up for 26.2 miles.

If I have to use a Call a Friend lifeline on this race, I will be drunk by 2:00.  Mark my words. Hide the kids and change my blogging password.

I’m in the boat I swore I’d never be in–running a marathon hurt and setting myself up for full-blown injury.  This is exactly why I told myself for years not to attempt a marathon.  Too likely to get hurt…not good for the body…and if you get injured, you won’t be able to back off and let it go once you’ve put in the training…these are all thoughts Smart Angie told herself whenever she contemplated a marathon in years past.

There’s no looking back now, though, and Smart Angie can kiss it.  I’ll be out there with bells and heat wraps on, ready to try!  I’ll give everyone a great show at around 6:50 when I pull my pants down and rip that heat wrap off.  I’ll smile and try to control the thumping in my heart and the crush of men asking me out for a date once they see my spider-veined legs and my incontinence pad.

And though it sounds wrong, I’ll try not to think of TiffeeG at the start of the run.  Every time I do, and my mind starts to focus on what she’s been through, my legs start to run faster.  A huge swell of anger and love fills my heart, and I just want to sprint.  That can’t happen.  At least not until Mile 20+ (if I make it that far.)  By that point, a “sprint” would likely be a fast crawl, and I’ll take it.

Look what she gave me yesterday?  My new favorite shirt!

The boys are set to spend the night with her.  I can’t wait to see their faces tomorrow.  I have two friends who are coming out just to cheer me on.  And HH is trying hard to come home for 24 hours, so there’s a SLIM chance that he will be there in the morning too!  I would be thrilled, but even if he doesn’t make it home until after the race, it’s wonderful.  I miss him terribly.  He should be glad he hasn’t been here the last few days, though.  I’ve been a peach.

A couple years old, but a favorite pic…

I’m taking hydration and obsession to new heights.  If I don’t finish, it’s not for a lack of carb-loading/glycogen stores.  I’m topped off nicely.  Every time I think of the race, I go maul a carb.  Pasta for lunch yesterday (wanted a baked potato, but apparently there had been a “mishap” with the potato shipment at Jason’s Deli.)  Potato for dinner.

Ready to run!

I’ve iced and rolled.

F*%$ing leg!  Look at that quad!  Does that look normal?  I don’t even think it looks right.  And I would love to see that fat on my inner thigh disappear, but trust me, that shit is going nowhere.

Honey Stingers, salt packets, fuel belt, etc.–check!  All that’s left is to run an easy few miles this morning to loosen up and then to pick up my race packet this afternoon.

It’s here.  And I owe you readers a big thank you.  Thanks for following this story.  Many of you have been readers since December.  Many of you have donated to the Spondylitis Association of America on my and TiffeeG’s behalf.  Thank you.  I’ve raised almost $2100, and nothing can take that away.  I’ve met new people through the blogging experience.  I’ve felt so much support.

Hopefully you now know a little about Ankylosing Spondylitis, so you can recognize some initial signs if it ever strikes you or someone you love.

Hopefully you have been entertained and hopefully not too grossed out by my stories.

Maybe you’ve been encouraged to run if you are able?  Don’t pay any attention to my potty overshares.  Run if you can!

I’ll give it all I have tomorrow, and if I have to quit I’ll try to turn it into a great story.

For you, TiffeeG!  I know you hate this picture because you have that baggy windbreaker on, but you look beautiful!

• Marathon
• quadriceps
• Running